From an email I sent to the Angels:
Where do I begin? Saturday Ed made us run 4 times around the treacherous Burke lake which was covered is snow. It was pretty, but cold and I think running in circles makes you go a little batty. It was there that I discovered our very own Trusty Mark can not be trusted. Nonetheless, in true Ed fashion we had back to back meetings and clinics that we all re-routed last minute. God knows how or why, but I drive around Burke for an hour lost (I swear someone moved PRR) only to catch the tail end of one clinic and then I was off to search out another longwinded Team Z meeting regarding the magazine. I think I got home at 4, bitched and moaned to Noah for an hour and then passed out o the couch. I missed our Angel Jessica’s party (and I feel like crap about it, but somehow I think she might know what Ironman training does to you and may forgive me). After sending EB secret notes via text messaging, we decided to meet as late as possible at a top secret located to carpool for Sunday’s ride. I arrived fashionably late and yet we still managed to arrive to ride early. EB’s truck doubles as a beauty parlor and dressing room if you all didn’t know that already. It took guts to get out and start that ride. We were dissed right off the bat by trusty Mark, and from our discovery the day before, I think he should be renamed Malicious Mark. Exiting that park was painful, as Susan through at us with hill after hill and I am sorry, but what the hell – I was in my last granny ring and standing up like lance Armstrong trying to make it our alive. Team Z soon spread out as the carnage was left behind (Alisa, EB and me) but we were all soon reunited as everyone came to a screaming halt at the bottom of some 5 miles screaming gravel road decent. It WAS A FREAKING RIVER. Okay maybe it was just a big creek, but SUSAN!!!!!! Come on!! One by one the team struggled to get across and one Dyer brother actually attempted to ride across but fell over. I think he may have frozen to death because he was never sited again. Soon after that the mini angel trio were playing naughty guessing games and we were led in to victory by Brian Hain as we sang “This is the ride that never ends”. We didn’t like thinking of him as the sag-mobile, but more like the vehicle pulling in us top three female finishers at a race. That was the 30 mile loop. When we headed out for the next expedition, there were some new routes that had to be given to us verbally so we could avoid Susan’s river of death again. When we got to each location we were handed new cue sheets or verbal directions and I began to think we were not on Team Z but the Amazing Race. At about mile 40, EB decided she couldn’t bear to ride in the 20 mph wind gusts and mountains (or were they walls?) and wanted to hitch a ride with the Easter Bunny Matt Wolf - he sagged this ride complete with Jelly beans and Godiva chocolates and it is a good thing. As EB announced she wasn’t continuing on, Alisa broke down. Truly we should reenact this for you all live, but as Alisa was crying her heart out and EB and I consoled her, EB says “is it the training? Is it the guy? Is it the ride? Oh Alisa what it is?” Matt confesses to us the obvious- he’s a guy, he scared, doesn’t know what is happening and doesn’t know what to do. “It’s EVERYTHING!!! It’s the guy. It’s the training…and…and ….tomorrow’s Monday!!!!” – Matt comes back “I don’t. What about a peep???” It put a smile on everyone’s face and we all threw out our nutrition and food and mashed extra Peeps to our bike frames for the ride. That was classic. Around that time Susan drops off Joanna with us and explains that Joanna was forced to come back again through that river from the previous ride. Joanna was shivering and soaking wet – she said it was from the sweat, but I think it was from the river. We were lucky to have her and we collected 4th rider, Carol Camel (“she doesn’t drink, she doesn’t pee” – that her tag line). In pure angel fashion though we made frequent pee stops and made sure she drank up. The 4 of us found ourselves being chased by a rotweiler at some point and it bite my leg and chewed off Alisa’s shoe. Okay, maybe not, but it came close. Joanna and Carol were simultaneously being chased by the owner, who exclaimed “don’t STOP! HE’LL HURT YOU!!!” – or so we all though we heard so we kicked it up zone 10 and got the hell out of there. It took us a little bit to recover from that and at the next point we saw Matt we were scolded for our bike etiquette. I almost clobbered him but decided we needed to keep him on our side as he had the peeps and Godiva. We were informed around mile 50 or so that most all teammates were dropping like flies and being picked up due to the hills, wind and cold, but we made the decision to carry on and finish this ride. Ed even caught us at one point to tell us at mile 66 we would be given a secret cue she that would magically transport us back to the cars 10 miles away. When we got to “mile 66” – it was more like mile 73 thanks to all the rerouting. Carol Camel decided that mile 73 was good enough for her OLY schedule training (she rocked!!!) and she and EB decided to lead the remaining crazies in the beauty parlor vehicle for the last 10 miles. I think I cried the entire way back in – if you couldn’t tell. The song “Are you strong enough to climb up this hill” broke me. When we came in I was greeted with a big hug from Susan, who I tried to strangle, but decided not in public. Roadkill side note – this ride had NOTHING. It wasn’t until the last 5 miles I think that I saw the rib cage of a deer. Who know though – it could have been the other Dyer brother.
Where do I begin? Saturday Ed made us run 4 times around the treacherous Burke lake which was covered is snow. It was pretty, but cold and I think running in circles makes you go a little batty. It was there that I discovered our very own Trusty Mark can not be trusted. Nonetheless, in true Ed fashion we had back to back meetings and clinics that we all re-routed last minute. God knows how or why, but I drive around Burke for an hour lost (I swear someone moved PRR) only to catch the tail end of one clinic and then I was off to search out another longwinded Team Z meeting regarding the magazine. I think I got home at 4, bitched and moaned to Noah for an hour and then passed out o the couch. I missed our Angel Jessica’s party (and I feel like crap about it, but somehow I think she might know what Ironman training does to you and may forgive me). After sending EB secret notes via text messaging, we decided to meet as late as possible at a top secret located to carpool for Sunday’s ride. I arrived fashionably late and yet we still managed to arrive to ride early. EB’s truck doubles as a beauty parlor and dressing room if you all didn’t know that already. It took guts to get out and start that ride. We were dissed right off the bat by trusty Mark, and from our discovery the day before, I think he should be renamed Malicious Mark. Exiting that park was painful, as Susan through at us with hill after hill and I am sorry, but what the hell – I was in my last granny ring and standing up like lance Armstrong trying to make it our alive. Team Z soon spread out as the carnage was left behind (Alisa, EB and me) but we were all soon reunited as everyone came to a screaming halt at the bottom of some 5 miles screaming gravel road decent. It WAS A FREAKING RIVER. Okay maybe it was just a big creek, but SUSAN!!!!!! Come on!! One by one the team struggled to get across and one Dyer brother actually attempted to ride across but fell over. I think he may have frozen to death because he was never sited again. Soon after that the mini angel trio were playing naughty guessing games and we were led in to victory by Brian Hain as we sang “This is the ride that never ends”. We didn’t like thinking of him as the sag-mobile, but more like the vehicle pulling in us top three female finishers at a race. That was the 30 mile loop. When we headed out for the next expedition, there were some new routes that had to be given to us verbally so we could avoid Susan’s river of death again. When we got to each location we were handed new cue sheets or verbal directions and I began to think we were not on Team Z but the Amazing Race. At about mile 40, EB decided she couldn’t bear to ride in the 20 mph wind gusts and mountains (or were they walls?) and wanted to hitch a ride with the Easter Bunny Matt Wolf - he sagged this ride complete with Jelly beans and Godiva chocolates and it is a good thing. As EB announced she wasn’t continuing on, Alisa broke down. Truly we should reenact this for you all live, but as Alisa was crying her heart out and EB and I consoled her, EB says “is it the training? Is it the guy? Is it the ride? Oh Alisa what it is?” Matt confesses to us the obvious- he’s a guy, he scared, doesn’t know what is happening and doesn’t know what to do. “It’s EVERYTHING!!! It’s the guy. It’s the training…and…and ….tomorrow’s Monday!!!!” – Matt comes back “I don’t. What about a peep???” It put a smile on everyone’s face and we all threw out our nutrition and food and mashed extra Peeps to our bike frames for the ride. That was classic. Around that time Susan drops off Joanna with us and explains that Joanna was forced to come back again through that river from the previous ride. Joanna was shivering and soaking wet – she said it was from the sweat, but I think it was from the river. We were lucky to have her and we collected 4th rider, Carol Camel (“she doesn’t drink, she doesn’t pee” – that her tag line). In pure angel fashion though we made frequent pee stops and made sure she drank up. The 4 of us found ourselves being chased by a rotweiler at some point and it bite my leg and chewed off Alisa’s shoe. Okay, maybe not, but it came close. Joanna and Carol were simultaneously being chased by the owner, who exclaimed “don’t STOP! HE’LL HURT YOU!!!” – or so we all though we heard so we kicked it up zone 10 and got the hell out of there. It took us a little bit to recover from that and at the next point we saw Matt we were scolded for our bike etiquette. I almost clobbered him but decided we needed to keep him on our side as he had the peeps and Godiva. We were informed around mile 50 or so that most all teammates were dropping like flies and being picked up due to the hills, wind and cold, but we made the decision to carry on and finish this ride. Ed even caught us at one point to tell us at mile 66 we would be given a secret cue she that would magically transport us back to the cars 10 miles away. When we got to “mile 66” – it was more like mile 73 thanks to all the rerouting. Carol Camel decided that mile 73 was good enough for her OLY schedule training (she rocked!!!) and she and EB decided to lead the remaining crazies in the beauty parlor vehicle for the last 10 miles. I think I cried the entire way back in – if you couldn’t tell. The song “Are you strong enough to climb up this hill” broke me. When we came in I was greeted with a big hug from Susan, who I tried to strangle, but decided not in public. Roadkill side note – this ride had NOTHING. It wasn’t until the last 5 miles I think that I saw the rib cage of a deer. Who know though – it could have been the other Dyer brother.
This ride was hard. I should not compare it, but to give you an idea – the conditions were worse than that Gainesville ride a few weeks ago and it felt much more physically demanding than SkyMass. I can’t believe we did it. When I got home at 7:30 p.m., Noah ran out and bought me ice cream ;) YEaaaaaaaaaa.
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